myJaxon

So I was entering at contest at an author’s website and she was asking this question:

Do you have a remarkable phobia? Does your phobia have a large impact on your life?

And I thought I would share my answer since it was kind of long.  Here it is…

I have one phobia that’s more irritating than anything.  It’s not a fear of heights, but a fear of having nothing beneath my feet.  It usually occurs when I’m high up in the air and there’s nothing under me.  For instance, I hate ferris wheels.  Just having that slim piece of metal under my feet does not give me any security that I won’t be falling to my death.

And that’s a new fear I’m having lately.  Death.  Not dying, I have no problem with that, it’s a part of life.  But what comes after the dying part.  I have this fear that I’ll still be completely conscience but I won’t have any senses.  I won’t be able to hear, see, feel, touch, taste nothing, but I’ll still know that there is something going on.  That my kid is still living and I can’t be there with him.  It’s a little irrational and it hits at odd moments, but that’s a really huge fear of mine right now.  It really started once my son started moving more and started discovering things on his own.  He’s learning about so many new things right now and it’s fun givning him his first taste of various things that I want to make sure I’m there to witness everything.  Yeah, this has been bothering me a lot.